A life well-lived is full of surreal moments. Good or bad, these moments are benchmarks for
our lives and worthy of reflection. Many
times these life events are greatly anticipated and full of joy. For me, exchanging vows with my wife and
watching my children come into this world are at the very top of the list. Another event that is near the top of the
list happened on May 4, 2009. On that
day, I was introduced to the staff at Morton Ranch Jr. High as their new
principal. I don’t remember what I said
but I keenly remember the feelings. Joy,
excitement, and fear all mixed together in a delicious cocktail that left my
head spinning. Seven years later I stand
on the brink of another surreal moment as I anticipate standing in front of my
staff and wishing them farewell. In the
days leading up to this moment, a different emotional cocktail is brewing. This one is bittersweet. Melancholy and pride
laced with a dose of discomfort. As I
drink it all in, it leaves me reflective and thinking about legacy.
Legacy is a popular topic these days in education
circles. Recently, my district adopted a
vision statement, “Be the Legacy!” I
like the promise and challenge that this simple three word vision statement
holds. Legacy can be described as what
we leave behind as an inheritance to others.
Legacy can sometimes be seen as a tangible item, but not always.
As I walk the halls of the school, I see evidence of a
tangible legacy. These artifacts include
murals, panoramic class pictures, commemorative benches and many other
things. I love the history and the stories
that are told by these objects. Many folks
focus on this type of legacy as what matters the most, simply because it is
concrete in nature. It is easy to
see. It is easy to touch.
The type of legacy that I want to celebrate is less
tangible. It is relational in nature. Let’s call this “interpersonal legacy.” It is about investing in those around
you. Leaving an interpersonal legacy is
more about leaving every place, conversation, or interaction better than you
found it. This can seem to be a daunting task.
Here are a few actions we can take to invest in one another and build
interpersonal legacy.
Extend respect to
everyone before the expectation of receiving it. One sure way to drive people away is to expect the gift of respect to be given to us when we have not offered it to them unconditionally from the start. This can be especially problematic when working with students who have trust issues with adults due to their experiences. Give respect in order to receive it.
Seek to truly see
others and allow yourself to be seen. Everyone has a story that colors the
way they see and interact with the world.
Seek to understand before reaching judgment. Remember to share your own story.
Be real. Be authentic. Be human.
Listen and respond
empathetically instead of sympathetically. This can be a true struggle in
professional settings. Actively
listening and identifying with one another brings us together. Work to remove the words, “At least….” from
your response when others are sharing their struggles. If you need further clarity regarding the
difference between empathy and sympathy, Brene Brown addresses it beautifully
in this short animation. (Click here to see the video).
Embrace the
discomfort of courageous conversations.
What we choose to ignore, that is counter to our values, often speaks
more to our leadership than anything else. In
my experience, when done respectfully and with the right motive, relationships
are strengthened when we openly address our concerns with others.
Mend fences when
things head south. The world of education is a human business. As much as we try, every interaction will not
end positively. Be purposeful in reconnecting
to others when you know it is needed.
Don’t make it personal and don’t take it personally.
Speak appreciation
in the moment. My New Year’s
resolution was to not to sit on a compliment. What a joy it has been to pull
people aside, students and adults, look them directly in the eyes and say the
good things I am thinking about them in that moment.
Be an energy
pusher instead of an energy drain. Bring
your best high energy self into your work.
Enthusiasm is contagious.
Acknowledge the
presence of others. All people need
to know they matter and long for a sense of connection. Meeting and greeting others is a simple
action that pays huge dividends in building interpersonal legacy. At MRJH it has been such a pleasure to
connect through thousands of hugs, handshakes, head nods, “good mornings,”
smiles, fist bumps, high fives and even a few shakas! Lift others to lift
yourself.
I believe that we all have a desire to make an
impact. We want to matter, to make a
difference. In my mind, that is the
ultimate reward for our work. What
better way to leave your mark than by building an interpersonal legacy by
investing in others? Since it was
announced that I would be leaving my campus to open a new school, I have received
many positive notes and letters from staff, students and parents celebrating
what we have accomplished. When a staff
member writes, “I am a better teacher because of you” my heart rejoices. When a student approaches me and says, “Mr.
McCord you were the best principal I ever had and I am going to miss you” I am
honored. When I reflect on those words,
I know my passion and purpose are well aligned.
It is in these moments when I know I am living a legacy, and in those
moments I feel fully alive.
One last thought about interpersonal legacy. It goes beyond the lives we influence in a
positive way. It is not just what we
leave behind, it is also what we take with us.
As I move forward on my professional journey, I take with me the
interpersonal legacy of my staff, students and parents. If I have left a mark on them, be assured
they have left a mark on me. I am a
better leader and a better man because of my work with the Morton Ranch
community. Thank you for investing in me.
This post is
dedicated to the 4,000+ students and staff that I have had the great pleasure
of serving in the role of “School Dad” at MRJH.
Safe, civil and productive… that’s The Maverick Way!
